I usually love New Years. The ending of it all appeals to my reflective side, and the prospect of new beginnings plays beautifully to the cautious optimist in me. This year finds me in new territory, though, in a strange world where I have no earthly idea what lies ahead, and none of my usual standby comforts to reassure me. I'll admit, y'all, that was freaking me out a bit last night as Matt and I quietly welcomed in 2009. In the light of day, after a lovely walk, and some quiet time in the kitchen, I'm feeling more and more like my old self. The me that's ready to roll with whatever 2009 is going to throw my way, safety nets be damned. Feels good, y'all. It feels good.
So, with that in mind, I've been mulling over some goals. Resolutions never interested me, they seem custom made to be broken, but having goals? That's something I can deal with. So without further ado...
Goals for 2009 (in no particular order):
1) Clean up my language.
You guys. You have no idea how bad I am at this. Sincerely, I may write happy family friendly entries here in Blogland, but in real life I would not want your kiddos spending the afternoon in my company, lest they pickup some colorful new phrases. Somehow I've let my occasionally-foul mouth overtake my otherwise broad vocabulary, and it's bumming me out. My mother (and everyone's mother) is right, it's impossible to sound like an educated lady with a dirty mouth. Now please don't get me wrong, I love a good cussin'. But to lessen the impact of such wonderfully effective words by overuse? Well, y'all, that's just a damn shame.
2) Be a more, ahem, gentle driver.
Something about being behind the wheel makes me a tad...aggressive. Whether I'm running behind or not, I have a tendency to drive like I'm twenty minutes late. I'm annoyed by all my fellow motorists. I'm impatient at lights. And I have to be in a really generous karmic mood to let someone in line if I think it's their own dumb fault they wound up in the wrong lane in the first place. But lately I've been wondering...why? Why be in such a rush, and why not be more generous? It seems correctable, and good for my soul as well as my blood pressure. So, even if you're being a jerk out on the highway, I'm going to try my darnedest not to be a jerk back, to take my time, and in general mellow out behind the wheel. Please understand this is a genetic disorder I have (thanks, DAD), and it's going to take some serious effort on my part to correct ;)
3) Make the best use of my time.
With my old job, I had a lot of free time around the house. A LOT. Things that needed to get done always got done, but at the leisurely pace I deemed fit. Now with trotting off to work each day, my time at the house has suddenly become very valuable, and I'm not particularly good at multi-tasking outside of work. So my goal is to make the time I do have really count. Multiple irons in the fire, that sort of thing.
And finally...4) Find my niche.
It's there, I know it is. And I've almost got it. I've almost figured it out. There's some baking/painting/cake decorating crafting trinity out there just waiting for me, and I'm going to find it, and I'm going to get great at it, and I'm going to make it my future, some how. And I'm giving myself a whole year to do it. I think that's fair.
I'm looking forward to routine again. Now that the dust has settled, I'm looking forward to remodeling my life. To make my every day be exactly the day I chose, to make lemonade from every lemon I'm handed. To be happier, healthier, and wiser. I'm making this a promise to myself. My promise to you is that I'll be back here every Monday to write about it. We'll talk then...