So, they did call. Yay!
Their answer? We got the results, but we still can't say whether or not you have Cushings. Boo!
Basically, the story is this:
My cortisol levels were elevated in the urine sample, but the bloodwork came back in a normal range, just not one conclusive enough to rule anything out. One test says yes, one says no, so what do you do? More tests. This time, I get to pee in a jug for two WHOLE days, AND (lucky me!) I get to spit into a vial every night around 11pm for THREE days! What wonderful contest did I win to be bestowed with such fabulous prizes? I know. You're jealous, aren't you?
Grr. This is ultimately frustrating, of course--I mean, MORE tests? But at the same time I'm hopeful that the doctors would not be putting me through all this if they didn't think Cushings was a very real possibility, so, you know, yay for being thorough, I guess. And they will have an impressive collection of my bodily fluids by the time this is all said and done. Urine, blood, AND saliva? Awesome, the only thing left is for them to put me on a treadmill with a drip pan and collect my sweat, too.
You gotta love modern medicine, y'all.
I'll be performing my lovely specimen collections next week, and then Matt and I are off to Florida, where I will NOT be donating any fluids. Instead, I plan to sit in the pool for about 5 days straight with umbrella drinks, and the only thing I'll be saving in the fridge are LEFTOVERS.